#173 The End

And a new start in its own.

Because I'm re-inspired.

#172 A Wayward Soul

Until the sense stay dead.

I can hardly breathe.

And yet now I don't seem to ever need to breathe anyway.

I guess I haven't discussed much about my time in NS except a brief summation along the lines of, "a long boring wait, a waste of time." That isn't the total truth.

Neither is it too far from the truth.

And yet there are times I smile, because (my posting) in itself has made me learn valuable lessons; lessons about how bullshit life can be.

However, I say this with not a tingle of negativity. Because it shows the human side to an almost perfect picture advertising/public relations has painted.

How so, I'll describe another time. Because now I've got to go make up for the lack of a social life; one of the negative aspects of NS.

#171 Blind

There are the perspective and there are the foolish.

I've seem to come to a point where I can't see beyond my emotions.

Such is my limit, if you would call it.

A gnawing feeling resides within.

It's more than I can bear just existing.

Looking into the mirror I see nothing.

Not even a fading impression.

It's already closed.

#170 A Loaded Question

One step away from excommunication.

One step into miscommunication.

One step backward for communication.

One way communication.

In many ways I've grown blunt and in-your-face.

In other ways I've hid true feelings.

Because I can't seem to get out of this "lets not screw the world with personal problems" mentality.

I can't even see myself now.

#169 I Looked At The Sky

I should have been asleep two hours ago, because I'm supposed to reveille at 5.30am.

I'm glad I don't have to stay in camp unlike Yong Ren & Yeow Chong (chao SISPEC kias, they'll pass out as 3rd Sergeants at the end of their 6 months training stint in the least).

The downside is that I'm stuck with Recruit for a long time to come, and the most I'll ever become is a Corporal First Class.

Looking back, my first day of work wasn't too bad.

Looking forward, the two years are going to be a big surprise, whether for good or for bad.

Sometimes I just wonder. Was my smile worth it?

#168 Farewell

So long~

It's time to say goodbye~

Because 9 hours later, I enter the next stage of my life; National Service.

#167 The Irony

There is no iron in irony.

Okay that was lame.

And yet, gaining weight for me, unlike the vast majority of the world's population, is nigh impossible.

Losing it is easier than *alphabets*.

Just like how shampoo-ing is a luxury. And it's not because we can't afford it.

We just don't have enough of those black extensions that are supposed to sprout, covering our otherwise reflective scalp.

I'm talking about the NSmen.

*Gulps* 13 days to losing my crowning glory.

19 days to age plus one.

Less than 24 hours to the meet-up with Lester.

Less than 2 days to the meet-up with Jerrome a.k.a. MNG (Mr Nice Guy).

Less than 3 days to the meet-up with Jun Wei & Elaine.

And less than 12 hours to work.

New friends at work, and more practice teaching people how to handle the monotony of the job.

And yet I feel as empty as ever.

Perhaps defeated would be a more apt word.

I wonder when I'll let go of my heart and believe once more.

I'd like to smile at the world, and tell it, it's okay to be imperfect.

Just love each other.

That's what's driving us forward, upward.