1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
I remember a prayer Sam once prayed for me way back at 2006 Tertiary Leadership Camp. It was a prayer of courage. And back then I never thought I would be running away from issues like a craven coward.
I look at friends from afar, distancing myself in fear.
Uncalled for or not I do not know, just that fear I feel within burning my insides out.
Never did I in my whole life imagine I would come to the point I am.
I realise I simply cannot make it on many accounts over many areas in many situations. And being away for so long, so far away I have also come to understand in my heart that I need God. And that I have gone so far in such a short time. The temptation of self-indulgent escape has certain proven far too sweet in my time of weakness. And in my weakness I made Zig and it ironically became me.
I still cannot believe how easily manipulated by situations, emotions and fears I am. If self-worth is governed by God then I must have none.
We all need an identity. So when we lose one, we begin to seek another. It is just so natural. Sitting here, one thing just keeps springing forth from the back of my mind.
There is no other source that sustains than God's love. Everything else which claims otherwise is a counterfeit, an usurper, a lie.
And I should not continue living a lie.
It is time to sleep. So much more to do tomorrow.
~Zig
