#158 MAN

MAN. Manhood. Attitude. Nonchalance.

Okay maybe not. But believe it or not, ten years back I never thought I'd grow up. But then again, back then I didn't know what reality was.

Love was from mom, dad, brothers and grandmother.

Food was from the table.

Allowance came when I asked.

Trust was guaranteed.

Support was assured.

Mistakes were solved with a sorry.

In retrospect, I probably had an easier than anyone else on earth. I never had any critical accidents or made irrevocable mistakes. The most I did was to make a fool of myself (of which I have had my fair share).

I guess the biggest upheaval in life I have ever come across came with making my own decisions in life, particularly my believing in Christ. Though things kind of messed up (though I still believe, just a little less in people) and for a time I slipped into mental isolation, the truth is this; I haven't given up and this life of mine could be so much more. How much more, I don't know. Because between random gossip, I'm haven't gotten a real good picture of the things that lie ahead.

Of the faces that smiled but hid a secret enmity.

Of the words that were spoken that cut right through flesh and blood.

Of the trust that was broken amidst solemn promises.

So as yet another life stage lies before me, I can't help but wonder what's going to change in my life, apart from the sudden hair loss.

Perhaps, I will learn discipline, responsibility, courage and a sense of duty. I'd learn punctuality and make strong bonds with friends in spite (perhaps because) of our common baldness. The daily boredom will be replaced by friendly banter and earnest friendship.

Or perhaps, my fears will take over and I once again fade into quiet existence, as sickles are drawn and from behind blood is spilled. The me I once thought erased would come back, huddling in the corner, defeated. And as despair takes over, I'll give up.

I need a reason. To exist, to strive, to go beyond reactive defeat to proactive success.

And then there was one.

Or is there?

I don't really know. Perhaps you do.

#157 Triple Post Home Run!

Keeping things simple, dreams reachable, is a very fulfilling thing.

Perhaps that's what my life goal's to be.

Wo qi dai de bu zhi shi ai, er shi huo de yi ge you yi yi de ren shen.

期待你的爱 林俊杰

My life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋 想在里面放 一份爱

Why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我 实实在在 不管帅不帅

想要找回来 自己的节拍
所以这一次 我要勇敢大声说出来

期待 期待你发现我的爱
无所不在 我自然而然的关怀
你的存在 心灵感应的方向我一眼就 看出来
是因为爱

我猜 你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯 越靠近越明白
不要走开 幸福的开始就是 放手去爱.


My life, an eternal wait.
I wish to place some love in this empty space

Why I've always seen defeat
I'm losing my patience
I never really cared how I look outside

I want to find it back, my very own courage
And so this time, I'll say it with boldness right out loud

I hope I dream that you'll discover my love
All the time I feel it naturally within my heart
The presence and flow of your spirit I can see with one glance
All because of love

I guess you've known it all along
After a roundabout, the closer we get the more we understand
Don't walk away, the start of bliss is letting go to love

I won't walk away, not this time.

#156 Double Post In A Day

Thought to ponder:

Is sex really more desirable than knowledge?

Because I see more jocks busting their lives on pleasure than nourishing their minds and bodies.

#155 A Quote From A Friend

"MARGARINE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM PLASTIC."

Not only is that not right, that's not even wrong. It's a meaningless statement. Saying something is "one molecule away" from plastic is like saying a farm is one letter away from a fart. Water is "one molecule away" from being explosive hydrogen gas.

#154 RAWR!

I feel powerful. I have just bought Sixology.

小酒窩 is the ultimate.

The 粵語版 is beyond ultimate.

And while I bask in my make-believe love, I have one thing to share.

Everyone should get Sixology. It's nothing sensual or cheeky, but pure goodness (talent-wise).

Not that I have any.

But hey, I'm trying.

So says the banana cake.

#153 Who Am I

I am a banana cake.

#152 The Night Makes No Sense

Just as the day is a mess.

Why do beautiful things happen at night, just when we are about to sleep?

Why is most of the day wasted on mindless droning?

Why does the night sky look so beautiful dotted with lights that shine in the dark?

Why does peace reign in the night, when it is said the light is where we find peace?

Why does our heart race only for a moment?

Why does hope come close only in the coolness of the night?

I'd like to know why.

Because "it is so" doesn't cut it for me.