#137 A Song, A Dream, A Conclusion

会有那么一天
林俊杰

一九四三世界大战
阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多
他们感情很深

但是爷爷身负重任
就在离乡的那夜
给了阿嬷一个吻
轻声说到

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原听
鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

夕阳西下鸟儿回家
阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫
眼神却很温柔

看著爷爷湿透的眼
握著他粗糙的手
阿嬷泪水开始流
轻声说道

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原听
鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原听
鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

我爱你


It took some time for me to try and put to words a dream that I had three days ago. It was the reason why I posted that I would "update another time; when I have the time."

The night before then I had a little drinking and catch-up session with Jason & Yeow Chong; my secondary school buddies. Both Jason & I couldn't hold our liquor well; Jason was (I know you're going to deny this =P) blabbering gibberish and being all hyper, while I was trying to keep my mouth shut knowing that alcohol is an easy way to making a fool of myself in public. Yeow Chong was, well, the only sober one.

I reached home expecting to hit the sack immediately, but I guess it was not to be. I finally fell asleep possibly half an hour later.


And that's when it all started.

It seemed I came back to a few days just after my granny had passed away. It was probably nearly a week or so, since everyone was back to their normal routine of life. I woke up with fresh tears (in the dream) and habitually went to my granny's room to gaze at her photo (something which I kept at for a few weeks).

To my astonishment, I saw my granny getting up from her bed.

She looked the same, except that she had this dark patches all over her body (I don't know how to describe it, it was as if she was a spectre). I still remember her wearing her blue pyjamas with floral design. She turned to me and acknowledged me with a nod, then went on with her daily activities as if everything was normal. However, her movement seemed mechanic and unearthly (again, I don't know how to describe it; perhaps it was like an engine left unoiled over years).

I was terrified. Though granny was doing her normal activities, it seemed unnatural, and I felt extremely uncomfortable. She seemed so forlorn, yet so stoic. I hid myself. When my parents came back in the evening (again, still in the dream), I told them about the whole episode.

Here's when the dream ended.


I woke up in tears. It took some time before the tears subsided and I went to get myself prepared for work.

As I was in the shower, I thought long and hard at the whole dream. I still don't know why, but upon pondering, it seemed that the whole dream had a message, of which words fall short of.

Straight after her death, I lived my life as if without purpose, as if it was the end. I had never known death before. It came so silently, so quickly, and then life demanded that I move on. I thought that I had gotten over it in the rush of my FYP and when I resolved to pull myself out of being self-destructive in my apathy.

It was like a personal message to me, to stop my griefing; to stop being childish and trying to grasp at the sands of time.

And that's when I realised that I haven't gotten over the whole episode yet.

I guess it's time I finally move on.

#136 A Conversation

siggles. _ officially a pre-enlistee =/ --> Me.

Swordsly <<>> --> Puppy/Jason


siggles. _ officially a pre-enlistee =/ says:
i am camera shy

Swordsly <<>> says:
oh nose

Swordsly <<>> says:
some1 got smashed by a tree

siggles. _ officially a pre-enlistee =/ says:
..

=/

#135 A Random Post

Because I was listening to Yes 933 and finally found the song I've been wondering about for ages.

当你 - 王心凌

如果有一天
我回到从前
回到最原始的我
你是否会觉得我不错

如果有一天
我离你遥远
不能再和你相约
你是否会发觉我已经说再见

当你的眼睛眯着笑
当你喝可乐当你找
我想对你好
你从来不知道
想你想你
也能成为嗜好
当你说今天的烦恼
当你说夜深你睡不着
我想对你说
却害怕都说错
好喜欢你
知不知道

如果有一天
梦想都实现
回忆都成了永远
你是否还会记得今天

如果有一天
我们都发觉
原来什么都可以
无论是否还会停留在这里

当你的眼睛眯着笑
当你喝可乐当你找
我想对你好
你从来不知道
想你想你
也能成为嗜好
当你说今天的烦恼
当你说夜深你睡不着
我想对你说
却害怕都说错
好喜欢你
知不知道

也许可是让我想得太多
也许该回到没我
梦里和相遇
就毫不犹豫
大声的说我要说

当你的眼睛眯着笑
当你喝可乐当你找
我想对你好
你从来不知道
想你想你
也能成为嗜好
啦～啦～
我想对你说
却害怕都说错
还喜欢你
知不知道
啦～啦～

Yeah, since my mandarin's so bad I couldn't catch what the DJs were saying regarding the song title till just yesterday.

And guess who I met today? I was just disturbing Samuel on Facebook about being a murderer. I met the murder victim at the bank today: Vanessa, who was helping us with our FYP 1.

I'm in a random mood today.

Preschool showdown anyone? I'll use my toy cars to ram your sandcastle.

That or Wahjong on Viwawa.

=3

#135 Looking Back, I Asked Myself

How much of my current lifestyle is sustainable in the long term future?

What I mean is how much of what I am doing each day that I can do 60 years down the road.

Late nights are out.

Partying regular is a big no no.

Even strenuous sports might be a little too much to handle.

Because looking through many blogs I came across one thing in common (to many, though not all), a tendency towards partying hard and enjoying the best of youth.

And as the past few weeks in my life have shown, the damage shows only when things are critical.

For example, it's too late when your kidneys are damaged or when the bulk of your physical development has stopped. It's too late when you try to go to the doctors to regain the lost health from almost daily late nights out, pubbing/clubbing and other activities that seem very enjoyable now, only to realise down the road that your body does not heal as well as it did in your twenties.

You're going to ask yourself why you did all that you did and why you didn't do what you should have done. Regret often times come too late; when the results are irreversible.

Perhaps a night out or two per fortnight won't hurt. But anything more than that and you'd be sacrificing your later years on life-long medication.

Education is for a reason. Not to argue with our elders about what's changed in the present compared to the past, but to realise what's important in this path known as life that we all walk along.

#134 It Seemed Like A Lifetime

Since the last post, which was four days earlier.

Not sure how to put it in a more human way, but on the day of Jump, my

Persona

&

Anima

clashed.

Now before anyone goes OMGWTFBBQ?!

I shall explain.

Persona: a person's perceived or evident personality,

Anima: the inner personality that is turned toward the unconscious of the individual contrasted with persona.

Or maybe not. It's all hurting my grey matter. Or white matter. Whatever. Whichever does the thinking.

Let's just put it that I was being hyper in my little own world while not feeling particularly hyper. It's just me seeing/experiencing time gone past with the emotions (or lack of) in the present.

Okay I sense another OMGWTFBBQ?! coming.

Moving on...

Yesterday I learnt something.

The restaurant set menus had prices like $123.90++. Or whatever. The main point is the ++.

Ever wondered what that meant? Or even $123.90+++?

Well according to my (reliable) source (dad), the +++ means:

1. Service Charge (1st +)
2. Entertainment Tax (2nd +)
3. GST (3rd +)

The difference between the Service Charge & the GST is that the Service Charge is taken by the restaurant/outlet/pub/whateveryoucallitIdon'tcare. The GST goes to none other than our...

Gah-Men/Garment/Government. (hey hey! the evolution of Engrish)

And that's all...for now. My brother's bugging me to go on Battle.net so I'll update another time; when I have the time.