#96 A Treat For All Of Y'all

Because I'm delirious from two days' worth of brain-shrinking insert-random-action, enjoy:

"When Bad Writing Becomes Funny"

By Assorted Authors

ONE

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

TWO

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

THREE

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling bowl wouldn't.

FOUR

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

FIVE

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 pm instead of 7.30pm.

SIX

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

SEVEN

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

EIGHT

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

NINE

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

TEN

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

ELEVEN

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

TWELVE

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36pm traveling at 55mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19pm at a speed of 35mph.

THIRTEEN

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

FOURTEEN

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

FIFTHTEEN

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

SIXTEEN

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

SEVENTEEN

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

EIGHTEEN

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.


Enjoy, like, whatever.

#96 The Current Progress

Of my *stupid* P *crap* P *bullshyt*.

Jason Drummer - Ishimaru Takumi 2008 - the rhythm flows from within...
Windez - Pop. Ur. Nutz. s zhall now b replaced by z.O_o

Conversation:


Ishimaru Takumi 2008 - the rhythm flows from within... says:
IMO you need to remove alot of things :x

Pop. Ur. Nutz. s zhall now b replaced by z.O_o says:
o

Pop. Ur. Nutz. s zhall now b replaced by z.O_o says:
which which

Ishimaru Takumi 2008 - the rhythm flows from within... says:
UNLESS

Ishimaru Takumi 2008 - the rhythm flows from within... says:
you can find out how do past generation become teacher

Pop. Ur. Nutz. s zhall now b replaced by z.O_o says:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


T_________________________________________________T

#95 STUCK!

Because my dad received a letter from the school, I am now stuck at home till I finish my *stupid* P *crap* P *bullshyt*. (Censored so I don't get in trouble with any authorities. The internet isn't a safe place now. *sad face*)

I am now going to sit by and dream to oblivion while I miss the first service after I "woke up" and Jeff's birthday *bash*. Everyone's going to have fun while I lose precious grey matter and other brain matter on a SWOT analysis everyone knows is *C$R(A)P!

I made the stIpUd mistake of retaking when I could have done *C$R(A)P! and gotten away with it last year.

Hooray for my stIpUdity =/

But don't worry, I'm still sane, just bored out of my witless wits.

*Edit* On this lonely, boring day. Give me Blassreiter!

P.S. for more information, please search "Blassreiter" on youtube/crunchyroll. It's a pretty good (as well as well-subbed) anime.

#94 Windez, You Gotta Control!

A Little Boys Temper

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.

His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down.

He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

He said "you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one."

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there.

Make sure you control your anger next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

"People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm." "If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are." The terms "stupid" and "fool" in Proverbs refer to sin and error, not mental ability. (Proverbs, 14:17 & 29 Verses).

****

So blessed to have regular inflow of such emails!

At the same time it also serves to remind myself of who I am trying to be.

Who I am right now (value-wise, personality-wise, principle-wise) is lacking but to get to who I am to become, I've got to persevere!

I still make the same old stIpUd mstakes, but with conscious effort I will make it!

I guess I was bitter at my dad today, because of some very real concerns. I also lost a lot of my compassion and self-propelled intiative because what the adults were portraying was obviously contradictory.

Like telling you to ask and chiding you for not knowing the answers to simple tasks.

Or telling you to take the initiative then making it as if they blamed you for making a mistake when you finally sum up the courage.

Or telling you to settle one argument at a time and keeping other unrelated incidents separate from the main issue; then dragging back 5 year old mistakes that you've made.

At that moment I felt like shouting, "You double-faced, double-standard loser! Get lost!" in obviously less cordial terms.

But there's no point stirring up the sleeping dragon.

I'll just do it His way. =)

#93 I Just Felt Like Blogging

Even though I've got nothing really much to blog.

I guess finally I'm starting to get a nurse a sense of adventure and a set of aspirations.

It makes me excited just thinking about them:

I want to be a _ _ _ _ _ _!

I want to get a _ _ _!

I want to make sense of my _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in a new way!

I want to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in a way like never before!

I want to never _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ever again!

I want to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ my concern for the people whom I care about but keep inside due to my introverted nature!

&

Though it is a repeat,

I want to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ through _ _ _ _ _!

The lines are still empty because they are not yet fulfilled, and because I am not yet comfortable enough to proclaim them out loud (hey, I still have my face/pride okay!) but I have a positive feeling about them! =)

It's interesting how I easily I found some primary school classmates' contact details.

God, You do have a plan for them too right? Because I'd like to be involved in it too. =)

#92 What A Difference A Night Makes

It Depends Whose Hands It's In

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19

A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million.

A baseball in my hands is worth about $6.

A baseball in Mark McGuire's hands is worth $19 million.

It depends whose hands it's in.

A rod in my hands will keep away some wild animals.

A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea.

Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches.

Two fish and 5 loaves in God's hands will feed thousands.

It depends whose hands it's in.

So put your concerns, your worries, your fears your hopes, your dreams, your families and your relationships in God's hands because it depends whose hands it's in.

****

I seem to get my insights in the wee hours of the day.

By not knowing myself I get to know God more, and by that to know who I really am.

Now I realise the past joy was only the seed; now I am truly born again.

I realised how familiarity creates a comfort zone, and that I lost everything there.

My answer lays not in isolation and my dreams lie not in the mundane.

My caller in highest, therefore my calling will be the greatest.

My life will be fruitful and my days will be eternal.

All because of the promise of John 10:10, to have life, and have it to the full.

John 12:44-45 Then Jesus cried out, "When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. When he looks at me, he sees the one who sent me.

So through my belief in Jesus I believe in my future and all that God promises in Jeremiah 29:11, and I will seek Him and find Him. v13

What good can come from Galilee?

What good can come from me?

For He made everything that was, is and will be.

His grace is enough.

#91 As Requested By Kira

A.k.a. Blake (Quack quack!)

This is a loose translation of the song, which I found online.

****


洋葱 周恒毅

Onion by Aska Yang

If only your gaze would look upon me
If only you could hear the sound of a heartbreak
Silently watching over you, silently waiting for a miracle
Silently letting myself fade like air

Everyone is eating, talking and laughing in the happiness of tonight
The inner most of me, laughing in unison
The onions at the bottom of the plate are just like me, forever the flavouring
Secretly watching you, secretly hiding myself

If you are willing to peel open my heart layer by layer
You will discover, you will be shocked
You are my most suppressed, deepest secret
If you are willing to peel open my heart layer by layer
Your nose will run, your eyes will tear
If only you can hear and envision my devotion

Hearing you talk about you and your many other ‘him’ and the blossoming love
In my hopelessness I pretend to be amused
I’m like an onion; always the supporting actor
How I wish to have with you, a second of our own story

****

Somehow I don't feel like updating in depth yet, so I shall just skim through the memorable events that have passed.

1. Stephen's birthday.

It is as much his birthday as it is a rebirth of my thoughts.

When a person hits rock bottom, the only way to go is up.

Which makes me wonder; what then really is the bottom?


Taken from an email which Hotmail considers as spam.

It was a cold December night in West Orange, New Jersey. Thomas Edison's factory was humming with activity. Work was proceeding on a variety of fronts as the great inventor was trying to turn more of his dreams into practical realities. Edison 's plant, made of concrete and steel, was deemed "fireproof". As you may have already guessed, it wasn't!

On that frigid night in 1914, the sky was lit up by a sensational blaze that had burst through the plant roof. Edison 's 24-year-old son, Charles, made a frenzied search for his famous inventor-father. When he finally found him, he was watching the fire. His white hair was blowing in the wind. His face was illuminated by the leaping flames.

"My heart ached for him," said Charles. "Here he was, 67 years old, and everything he had worked for was going up in flames. When he saw me, he shouted, 'Charles! Where's your mother?' When I told him I didn't know, he said, 'Find her! Bring her here! She'll never see anything like this as long as she lives.' "

Next morning, Mr. Edison looked at the ruins of his factory and said this of his loss: "There's value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up."

"Thank God, we can start anew."

What a wonderful perspective on things that seem at first to be so disastrous.

A business failure, divorce, personal dream gone sour . . . whether these things destroy an individual depends largely on the attitude he or she takes toward them.

Sort out why it happened, and learn something from the blunders.

Think of different approaches that can be taken...

Start over.

Spam? I don't think so.

2. Sunday's family dinner.

Having come back from an overnight stayover at Jason's house, I was in no condition to go out, but I did.

I have this one very grainy photo that I took at the floating docks of the yacht club where we had our meal.

In it there is this one platform (presumably across the Straits) that is brightly lit.

Not much in the bustle of today but a beacon of hope in the darkness of the night.

I'd like to take another walk in the darkness, if I could see that one light once again.

Windez, sometimes I feel I don't even know you at all.