#75 And Then.

It's funny.

I trust enough that people around me are real.

Yet lack the trust to believe in going back.

I trust enough that I am safe and in His protection.

Yet not enough to believe that the same mistakes will not happen a third time.

What went wrong?

Well then, what went right?

It's when things don't look, feel and happen the way that felt right anymore.

And then you are left all alone, grasping at what is not there.

How are you then going to help others find their way?

To stay on would mean putting on a mask of deceit, of pretence.

Sometimes I wonder if this decision of mine, to only observe, is the right one.

Because then that way, how I feel will be exclusive and thus not negatively influence others.

Right?


Leader of the Band by Daniel Fogelberg

An only child alone and wild
A cabinet makers son
His hands were meant for different work
And his heart was known to none

He left his home and went his lone
And solitary way
And he gave to me a gift I know
I never can repay

A quiet man of music
Denied a simpler fate
He tried to be a soldier once
But his music wouldnt wait

He earned his love through discipline
A thundering, velvet hand
His gentle means of sculpting souls
Took me years to understand

The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
Im just a living legacy
To the leader of the band

My brothers lives were different
For they heard another call
One went to Chicago
And the other to St. Paul

And I'm in Colorado
When I'm not in some hotel
Living out this life I've chose
And come to know so well

I thank you for the music
And your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom
When it came my time to go

I thank you for the kindness
And the times when you got tough
And Papa I dont think I said
I love you near enough

The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul

My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
Im just a living legacy
To the leader of the band

I am the living legacy
To the leader of... the band.