#137 A Song, A Dream, A Conclusion

会有那么一天
林俊杰

一九四三世界大战
阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多
他们感情很深

但是爷爷身负重任
就在离乡的那夜
给了阿嬷一个吻
轻声说到

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原听
鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

夕阳西下鸟儿回家
阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫
眼神却很温柔

看著爷爷湿透的眼
握著他粗糙的手
阿嬷泪水开始流
轻声说道

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原听
鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原听
鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

我爱你


It took some time for me to try and put to words a dream that I had three days ago. It was the reason why I posted that I would "update another time; when I have the time."

The night before then I had a little drinking and catch-up session with Jason & Yeow Chong; my secondary school buddies. Both Jason & I couldn't hold our liquor well; Jason was (I know you're going to deny this =P) blabbering gibberish and being all hyper, while I was trying to keep my mouth shut knowing that alcohol is an easy way to making a fool of myself in public. Yeow Chong was, well, the only sober one.

I reached home expecting to hit the sack immediately, but I guess it was not to be. I finally fell asleep possibly half an hour later.


And that's when it all started.

It seemed I came back to a few days just after my granny had passed away. It was probably nearly a week or so, since everyone was back to their normal routine of life. I woke up with fresh tears (in the dream) and habitually went to my granny's room to gaze at her photo (something which I kept at for a few weeks).

To my astonishment, I saw my granny getting up from her bed.

She looked the same, except that she had this dark patches all over her body (I don't know how to describe it, it was as if she was a spectre). I still remember her wearing her blue pyjamas with floral design. She turned to me and acknowledged me with a nod, then went on with her daily activities as if everything was normal. However, her movement seemed mechanic and unearthly (again, I don't know how to describe it; perhaps it was like an engine left unoiled over years).

I was terrified. Though granny was doing her normal activities, it seemed unnatural, and I felt extremely uncomfortable. She seemed so forlorn, yet so stoic. I hid myself. When my parents came back in the evening (again, still in the dream), I told them about the whole episode.

Here's when the dream ended.


I woke up in tears. It took some time before the tears subsided and I went to get myself prepared for work.

As I was in the shower, I thought long and hard at the whole dream. I still don't know why, but upon pondering, it seemed that the whole dream had a message, of which words fall short of.

Straight after her death, I lived my life as if without purpose, as if it was the end. I had never known death before. It came so silently, so quickly, and then life demanded that I move on. I thought that I had gotten over it in the rush of my FYP and when I resolved to pull myself out of being self-destructive in my apathy.

It was like a personal message to me, to stop my griefing; to stop being childish and trying to grasp at the sands of time.

And that's when I realised that I haven't gotten over the whole episode yet.

I guess it's time I finally move on.